Happiness at the cultural crossroad

I was born and raised in Vietnam until I was 16 years old, when I went to Armenia to go to high school at United World College of Dilijan (UWCD). At UWCD, I suddenly found myself among very high-achieving teenagers from 50 different countries. The urge to perfect ourselves, to do the coolest extra-curricular, to get the best scores, to socialize and to take advantage of the precious experience of diversity made 24 hours a day not enough. When we were busy, we wished for some free time; when we had free time, we panicked thinking we should be doing something productive.

As a boarding school where most students experience independent life abroad for the first time, UWC proves to be even more stressful than a usual high school. During the third semester at UWCD when we had to juggle several essays (each from 12 pages to 20 pages) and college applications while maintaining all other aspects of study-abroad life, the stress was so immense that students took turns breaking down crying every night. Some students were diagnosed with depression; one had to stop school for one semester and another repeated a whole year (we were only 96 in total). This situation was not limited to our campus. A survey conducted recently across 15 UWC campuses around the world found that a startling 61.8 percent of current and recent students reported "feelings of apathy, overwhelming sadness, worthlessness or self-hatred for more than a few days." Compared to a 12.5 percent of US students suffering from major depressive episode in 2015, UWC students have it worse.

During my hardest time in UWCD, I reminisced about my life in Vietnam. Life back home felt like a boat drifting on a peaceful river. I knew I was going somewhere, but there was no rush. Depression was an alien concept, and I only cried watching Korean melodrama. The stark contrast between life back home and in UWCD made me question if the UWCD way of living was right for me. Certainly, UWCD was an enriching experience. I have learnt more in those two years than five years of education at home. Yet I could not help wondering: was I happier that way? What if I took it easy, focusing more on enjoying the sights on the hike than reaching new height? Would I be happier if I lowered my goals and stopped feeling like a failure all the time? Or should I aim higher so the satisfaction is greater?

It took me much reflection to understand that I was experiencing the philosophical crossroads of East and West. Growing up in an eastern culture heavily influenced by Buddhism, I have always cherished the idea of happiness from within. In Vietnamese, ‘ambition’ carries more of a negative connotation than positive. Vietnamese puts more emphasis on having a stable, enjoyable life than reaching great heights. UWC education, which started in the UK and which employs the International Baccalaureate program, delivers the opposite message. UWC prides itself on empowering youth to be change-makers. The struggle for happiness, therefore, is the struggle to constantly make the world a better place, not from accepting what is already there.

My experience in Vietnam and UWCD taught me different but equally precious lessons. From my days in Vietnam, I have learned to appreciate the smallest things I encounter: hot food in the morning, a squirrel climbing tree, snow on the rooftop, a stranger’s smile, a nice conversation. Appreciation for the smallest things brings me fulfilment and life satisfaction. On the other hand, UWC and Middlebury endow me with an aspiration for greatness. Although self-satisfaction is an important element to happiness, being easily satisfied can kill potential. The western education urges me not to accept mediocrity, but to push boundaries and constantly improve myself. Indeed, I would have never organized a project abroad for 10 people or led a protest against the school’s censorship of a graduation speech, had it not for UWCD.

Though both philosophies influence me deeply, neither convinces me fully. While Eastern perspectives on happiness aim at a longer-lasting well-being, the Western world-changing approach seems more realistic and progressive for the whole society. Instead of choosing one philosophy, I found myself a compromise that is summed up nicely through this anonymous quote that has become my motto: “Change what you can’t accept; accept what you can’t change”. Opposite as they seem, the two ways of living are not two parallel roads. The real task, therefore, is to find their crossing.

#english #happiness #culturaldifference #diversity #lifephilosophy #identity